Monday, November 26, 2012

Tis the Season


As the Holiday season approaches, I thought I’d do something special. So I decided to share with you a poem written by yours truly. This poem is written to the same rhyme scheme as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”.

Tis the Season

Tis the holiday season
But all up in your head
“How to stick to your diet”
Fills you with dread

There will be parties and gatherings
Festivities and such
Temptations too many
And pressures too much

And websites and media
Their articles abound -
“Be fearful this season
Lest you gain a few pounds!”

So you get out the scales
One for the kitchen and bath
You’ll be vigilant this year
No room for a gaff

You’ll weigh every morsel
And then yourself every morn
And if that scales moves slightly
You’ll meet it with scorn

Oh you’ll commit to the diet
But it won’t be a cinch
And you’ll do what you must
Becoming a Grinch

No egg nog for you
No drinks to good cheer
Not even hot chocolate
Not even light beer

You’ll skip the big feast
The trimmings and pie
You pretend you don’t want it
But you know that’s a lie

Just one more temptation
To add to the pile
But do you question the costs
Of such extreme self-denial?

So you sneak a few shortbreads
Aware what you ate
And then wash them all down
With a big dose of self-hate

Then you redouble your efforts
Your commitment to self
But your willpower’s shrinking
To the size of an elf

So if that’s what it takes
You’ll try even harder
You become a slave to your diet
And serve as its martyr!

So pile on the guilt
And more contempt for the season
And who could blame you at all
Because you have ‘such a good reason’

You’ll go hungry tomorrow
Yes, that’s the trick
“Bah humbug” this season
That includes you, Ole Saint Nick!

So at the next party
You stick to all veggies - no dips
“A few moments in the mouth
But a lifetime on the hips”

That is your motto
You remind yourself harshly
You’ll stick to the veggies
The garnish, and parsley

So starving you go
While trying to be nice
Resisting visions of sugar plums
And any other food vice

But your heart is not full
Of goodwill toward men
Because your stomach is empty
And your cravings, X’s ten!

No chocolate at all
No candy canes either
Not even a lick
Or on your thighs it will gather

So, you’re sticking to diet
But you seem to have lost all the ‘Merry”
You’ll weigh in tomorrow
And even that is quite scary

“And the gym may be closed”
You hear someone say
“Say it ain’t so man
You’re supposed to workout on that day!”

So instead you start hoping
For a dumping of snow
You can burn lots of calories
In the shovelling, you know

Now you’ve lost all perspective
And something more dear
No glad tidings inside you
Less love and good cheer

To all of you out there
 Who want to surrender tradition,
I say - you lose something far more important
Than some lame diet mission.

The Good Book teaches
A time for all seasons
Don’t weigh yourself down
With lame diet reasons

Embrace the full season
And all that it brings
The food and the drink
And other such things

And on this diet of yours
What if you cheat?
I say, celebrating the season
Is not a defeat

And just put away for now
Your guilt-measuring scale
And if you want to, instead
Have another cider or ale

So I send you all out
This warm season’s greeting
And I suggest to you all
Just enjoy what you’re eating!

I say let go of the guilt
And stick a fork in your diet
And I’m sure you will like this
If you let yourself try it

The guilt and the worry
Will surely poison your mood
And all over what?
Some drink and some food?

There’s a time to make Merry
To be human as well
So why give this all up
For some dark diet hell?

We celebrate yearly
With food and with drink
Embrace them both fully
It’s time don’t you think?

Don’t you get tired
Of the same yearly game?
You crave and resist
And end up with shame

Forget all these experts
Who warn you of gain
They are part of the problem
And cause you more pain

They tell you “be worried”
Or you may end up fatter
They want to generate fear
So ignore all their chatter

You need not resist
And suffer in hiding
Get out there and share
In warm joyful tidings

There is a time and a place
And the holiday season’s not it
To think that your diet
Is something you “quit”

Raise a glass to good cheer
And fill your plate up as well
And embrace all the sentiment
From that first jingle bell

Because spiritual fitness
Is shaped in traditions
So, embrace them in full
Without these self-conscious restrictions

There can be food for the soul
And for the soul, can be food
And there’s meaning in that
And I don’t want to be rude

But there will always be time
For the battle of the bulge
But there should also be occasion
To most fully indulge

So here’s my idea
It’s not so contrary
It’s is far more important – in season
To Eat, Drink, and be Merry!

So hear me exclaim
As I sit here and write
Season’s Greetings to All
And To all
A Good Bite!


If the Holiday season is something important to you and yours, don’t rob yourself of all it can do for you by trying to divide your energies.

I implore you, as a fitness and diet expert – let go the self-consciousness - let go the body-image - let go the diet-nonsense and the guilt attachments, just this season. And see what it does for your soul.

Allow yourself and your heart to be fully wrapped up in the magic of the season again – even be hugged by it.  Remember what it was like as a kid. Embrace that. Your soul needs it. Your soul is nourished by it. It’s once a year. Let go, surrender the external stuff, for internal real stuff – the stuff of the stuff - that should matter.

Season’s Greetings to You All – and God Bless